Seeing this got me to thinking about how awesome cycling while drunk is. I spent a couple of years in Cleveland proper awhile back, just across the river from downtown. I didn't drive even one time, mostly due to my pretty severe agoraphobia. I liked cycling though (odd for someone with agoraphobia, no?). Because Cleveland is a poor city, lots of people ride bicycles out of necessity. So the drivers are used to sharing the road.
6 months out of the year, I rode my bike downtown. The other 6 months it snowed every day, so I took the bus or my wife drove me.
I used to ride to the bar or parties and my wife would bring the car with the bike rack and meet me after work. But occasionally I rode home druuuuunk. Like most cities, Cleveland's downtown was dead after 6 or so, so it was relatively safe. One cool aspect of my drunken night rides was crossing the Cuyahoga river. I'd stand on the pedals and lean out over the handlebars and it felt like flying. I highly suggest it, especially for those who are underage and/or vision impaired.
But I had a water bottle full of Old Crow, not a nice leather wine rack.
I wrecked and face planted once, but I wasn't drunk at the time. A car edged forward at a light into the bike lane and I had to swerve out and back in. I was going really fast to get across the large intersection, and overcorrected into a high curb and planted my foot and then my face. I landed almost entirely on one tooth, which snapped and embedded into my lip. The doctors didn't notice it because the wound wasn't quite bad enough to require stitches. It emerged from my lip on its own a few days later. This is the hole it left:
Every new medical type person I met (nurse, doc, dentist) would ask me if I was wearing my helmet. I was, which always made them happy, but I wanted to point out to them that I landed entirely on my hands and mouth.
I live in Overland Park now, an area that is as suburban as suburban can be, meaning arterial street layout, so I don't dare ride my bicycle anywhere except the bike path. It's sad.
This is a funny gif. It's from icanhazcheezburger or something like that. Click on it to watch it move.