Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Vampires Will Never Hurt You

I typically listen to music in which I can't understand the lyrics, because most lyricists are second-rate poets and I can't take it. I can't take the clich├ęs, the overwrought emotion (love, anger or despair) and the lack of craft. A big exception to that is My Chemical Romance, the best post-hardcore rock band EVAR.

Gerard Way––the singer and lyricist of My Chemical Romance––is a writer. He's such a good writer, in fact, that he wrote a comic book mini-series called The Umbrella Society that won the Eisner for best limited series in 2008. The Eisner is THE comic book award.

And Gerard's aesthetic sensibility is similar to mine. Especially in the two early albums, Way used horror concepts to explore human relationships. He approached songs in the way someone would approach fiction. He didn't come out and bash you over the head with what he wanted to express, but told a story that illustrated it. This gave the emotion authenticity because it grew organically in the listener. The saddest love song I've ever heard is "Early Sunsets Over Monroeville," from their indie album "I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love." It's about a man stuck in the mall in Dawn of the Dead who finally decides to kill his zombie wife, who he's chained to a bed.

So I'm not ashamed to say that one of my favorite vampire stories is "Vampires Will Never Hurt You." This was another song from "I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love" that didn't make it over to their first major label album, "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge." It's about a pair of vampire hunters, and a terrible promise that one forces the other to give: "And if they get me and the sun goes down / And if they get me take this spike and / You put the spike in my heart." The video is low-budget, but the song is awesome.

Also, in unrelated news, The Lonely Island is back.


  1. This is cool and everything, but its sooooo mainstream now. I liked the undead even before they died.

  2. I liked ghosts back when they were still inside of people.