Movie Reviews!

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Beneath Still Waters

There is something about towns that are purposefully flooded by man-made lakes/reservoirs that totally captures my imagination. I find it fascinating and creepy, the idea of an entire town slowly disintegrating beneath a placid surface of water. Beneath Still Waters begins with this premise, and that 40 years after the town is flooded an evil force still lurking beneath rises again. This premise led to me giving the film a chance. It sounds so good that I hoped the movie would be as good as the concept. Hope is the form which disappointment first takes, and ultimately, Beneath Still Waters was a big disappointment.


Beneath Still Waters begins with one nerdy child awakening another nerdy child. Two nerds spring forth into the halcyon morn to find adventure, specifically in a nearby flooding town.

The Absent

The Absent opens on parents who appear to be attempting to kill their son. I can’t blame them. He looks like an asshole.

So being a suspicious little asshole, the kid searches the house when his parents aren’t at home and finds that they’ve taken out a life insurance policy on him. He poisons them, they die, and at that moment his twin brother emerges and asks what he’s done.

Mmmhmm.

Puppet Master

There really is something freaky about puppets and certain dolls. Remember when Mr. Marbles goes scampering across the room in The Chicken Roaster episode of Seinfeld? Even that was creepy.

Puppet Master 2

Remember in my last review, when I described the puppet maker as kindly? Well, turns out that depends on if your idea of “kindly” includes chopping the lobes from people’s brains and squeezing out the sweet juices within. Mine does, but I just want you to be able to make an informed decision.