Friday, December 23, 2011

Movie Reviews!

Where Frozen and Open Water are equal is in recreating the discomfort of the characters in the viewer. It’s very uncomfortable to watch people slowly freezing to death. Frozen is horror-as-masochism at its purest.

The road trip intro is a bad sign. While it seems innocuous enough, horror screenwriters seem to be unable to write about people sitting together in a car without making them incredibly obnoxious. Sometimes this seems to be part of a strategy to actually get the audience on the side of the killer (“Boy, I can’t wait for somebody to start murdering these jackasses!”). Other times, it unintentionally prejudices the audience against characters, and this negative attitude must be overcome.

[Mila] turns on the television just in time to catch Plot Point Action News and hear of the latest Tear-Jerk Jack slaying. In the real world, while the media may propose a serial killer’s nickname, we all must agree on it for it to stick. Apparently in the world of Faces in the Crowd, serial killer names are put to a vote down at the local kindergarten. You see, Tear-Jerk Jack weeps over his victims’ corpses.

Next, Mila reads her horoscope in The Plot Point Picayune, where she is warned of a “chance encounter with a stranger.”

Do you like 80’s horror movies? The Stuff might just be the most 80seriffic horror movie of them all.

The Stuff begins as most good movies do: with an old man wandering around in the snow, finding a patch of bubbling goo on the ground and eating it.

It’s delicious!

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