Friday, December 30, 2011

Movie Reviews!

Horror doesn’t take Christmas off. Okay, horror does take Christmas off, but he writes his reviews ahead of time. And by horror, I mean ???????

YellowBrickRoad looks and sounds great. This is a small budget film, but you are completely immersed throughout. Instead of cash, the filmmakers use creativity. YellowBrickRoad assaults your senses. That is, in fact, one of the most contentious aspects of the film. The filmmakers help you empathize with the characters by allowing you to experience their madness through aural and visual effects. It’s not pleasant, but what makes you think horror should be?

Victor just came into his full inheritance and besides arranging those details, he also arranges the details of his funeral. There is to be no autopsy and no embalming. He wants to be tossed into the ground as is, as quickly as possible. HUHIWONDERIFTHATWILLCOMEUPAGAIN?

The human mind works to integrate information into its existing belief system. I understand this. However, one of the most infuriating clichés in all of horror is when no one will adjust their thinking to accept the supernatural when it’s biting them right in the ass. Because you know what? While sudden, large shifts in paradigm are difficult, the human brain is also primed to believe there are predators hunting the darkness.

The women awaken in a cell, and they’ve got amnesia. Ahhh, that classic concept-horror conceit. But though they’ve forgotten their names, they’ve retained their personalities. Their easily-described-in-one-word personalities. You’ve got the tough one, the scared one, the nurturing one, and the survivor girl one.

Weekly Wrassling Notes:

-Big Show needs to stop talking about being a monster when he's obviously a face. Especially since a monster would never think in those terms.

-Based solely on acting, the Miz may be the best heel in wrestling today.

-I'm trying to figure out a term for Randy Orton's type of character since he's turned from heel. He's basically a classic monster though he's at least 50 pounds too light. It's like he's a monster based on skill instead of size and strength.

The RKO of Wade Barrett onto the top of the towncar may have been the move of the 12/23 Smackdown.

-My guess about the weird, ring-ish children promo: return of the Undertaker.

-Ziggler makes other wrestlers look great; a lost art.

-I love seeing Booker T back in the ring. I can't believe I've been watching him for over a decade and he looks exactly the same.

-Big Show has the greatest choke slam in the history of wrestling.

-Kane is the only monster who can speak and maintain monster cred (remember what happened to Batista when he started talking?). Glad he’s back.

-As Jeff Hardy's facial hair and paint get more complex, his lack of personality becomes more apparent.

-“Van Dam will knock the taste out of your face!”

-Impact’s X Division shows why WWE needs to collect the Divas on one show and bring back the Cruiserweight Championship on the other.

The love. I iz feelin it.

‘Tis the time for year-end and fill-your-new-ereader lists, and I made a few that I’m very proud of.

When Cthulhu Met Atlach-Nacha made James Everington’s list.

Burden Kansas made both Coral Moore’s and Jarrett Rush’s lists.

I was contemplating a list of my own before these were posted. Now I’m literally getting a stomachache from thinking about making a conclusive list which people either make or don’t. Especially because I would have recommended a book from each of the people who recommended me in their respective genres, and I fear being accused of MBS. The stomachache could also be from the pound of jerky I’ve eaten in the last two days (thanks for the dehydrator Mom and Dad!).  So instead I’m going to promise that in 2012 I’m going to do more to support the authors I believe in.

Cop out yay!


  1. Checkwd out the full reviews on Streaming Horror - that Brick Road film sounds ace!

  2. I think you would like it, though I can't say so definitely because it's so polarizing.

    I did just watch one I can say you'd definitely like called The Skeptic